It was coffee time and Benji and I watched the clock tick away our allotted minutes until someone came to deem us ready to leave for the small upstairs cafe.

“I’m going to give them until 8:47 to get their act together before I start pestering them about leaving.” Benji was speaking of whichever one of the 3 staff members would be escorting us upstairs as his knee jumped in antsy anticipation. “We are running out of time!”

“I know, I know,” I said as I shuffled cards around in my computer solitaire game, “I don’t know why they put groups back to back with fresh air time when we are always running late in the mornings.”

“And its only the mornings!” Benji exclaimed, as he peered around the corner at the front desk for the umpteenth time. “All i ask for is my coffee in the mornings. Is that too much? It would be good to have more than 10 minutes to drink it in too. This standing around chatting like they are doing right now – this is crap!”

Just then Cora walked into the tiny day room. Cora was a larger woman, one of the nursing staff, who had a fluctuating attitude that she didn’t attempt to hide.  “What was going on with Elle at breakfast? What was the problem there?” She eyeballed the unkempt stack of magazines on the coffee table for a moment before looking from Benji to me and back again.

“Oh, she was just having some problems with the peanut butter. Its one of her fear foods.” Benji glanced past Cora at the front desk once more.

“She did a good job though. She ate it all in the end. It had just been causing some anxiety.” I added.

“I don’t understand. i just don’t get how someone could be scared of something like peanut butter.” Cora said with a gesture of her hands that displayed her giving up of comprehension. “In my house peanut butter is normal. The kids all eat it, everyone eats it no problem. Why would someone be scared of it…its just peanuts and sugar!”

Benji and I tripped over each others words as we both jumped in at once to try and explain the thought process behind “fear foods”. By the time we had sorted out who was going to say what though Cora had already turned and walked away. Benji looked at me.

“Well shes not known for her niceties.”

“I know,” I said, “but what I don’t understand is how someone who works on an eating disorder unit hasn’t had training in basic ED habits. Not only that but her walking away like she did just shows that shes not even going to try…”

“Coffee!” The call echoed around the room cutting our conversation short, that one word trumping all else.