As we stroll slowly out on the lawn during one of our fresh air breaks Laura and I fall into a discussion on power and control in relation to eating disorders. nearby Elle and Benji play a fumbling game of catch with one of the many nerf balls that were brought in for stress coping. It is just after dinner and the sun beats across us at an angle as it slowly sinks in the summer sky.

Laura is my age and holds the wisdom of experience. This being her 6th treatment center she has seen these days, this routine, before. Yet, with so much inpatient time under her belt, her insight and optimism still flow freely. Not in an overabundant or fake way, from what I can tell she wears no mask, but with the genuine hopefulness that this time, maybe, she will go home and things will be different. maybe this time she will go home having gained more than temporary weight – herself. I ask her what she thinks is different about this time and place as opposed to the others and her answer brings up the ongoing insurance company dilemma.

So much of eating disorder recovery goes far beyond putting on a few extra pounds. There are psychological and emotional issues that need to be worked through. There is a sense and reason a person needs to have in order to abuse their own bodies in such a way and, as doctors have found through ongoing research programs, the deeper issues can’t really be successfully addressed until the end of the weight restoration process. There is a certain amount of brain function that is altered with malnutrition so attempting to work through any anxiety, depression, or control issues that landed us here is pretty futile.

However, most insurance companies don’t see that aspect of recovery. Most insurance companies either don’t cover treatment at all for eating disorders or they wind up pulling coverage and deeming a person healthy just as soon as they are within 5 or so pounds of the lowest healthy weight for their body size. Therefore the roots of the problem never see daylight and the odds of relapse are exponentially higher.

Laura explains, as we amble around the lawn, that this has been her story with every other treatment center she has seen. There was never any follow-up. The reason things will be different this time is that weight gain is only the first half of the regemine. This particular program is free to us in exchange for our cooperation. We get the help we need and, in return, we help them with ongoing research to aid the improvement of eating disorder recovery plans. To be the most beneficial to the research we have to be within 10% of our ideal calculated body weights before we dive in. This time will be different for Laura because here she wont be kicked out by her insurance company before getting to the real meat of the situation.