It looks like rain outside today, even though they aren’t calling for it until tomorrow, but the weather is nice with the gray layer of cloud cover. There is supposed to be a high of 80 but, with the light breeze rolling off the Hudson River, it feels more like a perfectly comfortable low 70’s sort of day. Its quiet around here again with all those eligible out on passes as much as they can be in the weekend down-time.

Passes are something you can request when you have reached the 90% mark of your personal ideal body weight. They come with moving up to level 4 and each one has to be specifically written out and approved. The request form includes the times of departure and return, exactly where in the city you’ll be going, how you’ll get there, and a basic play-by-play of what you’ll be doing. Generally on a pass you will eat one or two meals while out and this is where the bulging, over-stuffed, menu folder for the until comes in handy. It is required that you write down each item that you plan to order for your meal along with a backup plan in case the restaurant of choice is out of something. Unforseen snags in this method of recovery practice are always possible but the staff works with those going out to prepare as best they can for anything from the realm of the unknown.

Much of going out on passes involves the honor system. Thats why frequently patients, who don’t fully trust themselves to make the right decisions when the moment arrives, go on passes in pairs. The company is nice and you also have that unspoken safety net of someone being able to hold you accountable for your actions. Elle and Benji left only a few minutes ago to embark on just such a pass. neither of them are from Ney York and have no family in the area so the choice is to either brave the city alone or try and hack it as a duo. Today’s afternoon agenda for them includes a few hours spent at the Natural History Museum, with a strict exhibit schedule due to it’s vastness, and then dinner on the town.

Elle has been doing passes for about 2 weeks and Benji just a few days. In the beginning the outings are done a few times one-on-one with a staff member for a sort of practice and this can be just about anyone of the patient’s choosing. Both Elle and Benji went to breakfast with their personal therapists in the past week and came beck from the challenges with a noticeable amount of gained confidence. I have thought about it a little, as to who on staff I might like to go eat with, and the Griz is looking like a good candidate as well as either Talia or Gina.

It will be a while still though before I have to make a decision on that since I still have at least 15 pounds to go before I reach my 90%. I hope that when the time comes for me to try making my way around the city with some of my fellow patients there are still some left on the unit to join me. At the rate the exit door is revolving compared to the spider webs collecting on the admittance entrance I may well be left to make due on my own. Whatever happens though I know it will be an adventure!